Saturday, 29 December 2018 05:40

Depression Blues

Written by

Dear Reader

I'm sure you've been wondering why I'm not active anymore. I've been in a terrible depression for over a year that has completely paralyzed me. It's mainly financial, but also loneliness. At the moment I have arrived at the deepest point of my life and everything is extremely difficult for me, takes forever. I can't write any more stories because I don't have the peace and quiet and have extreme trouble posting them. To be honest I'm afraid of rejection, it feels like every person I've ever loved or every important person rejects me.
When I chat with a person, I automatically expect the contact to break because the person doesn't really want to talk to me.
This is probably self-protection so that I don't get disappointed and it's very important to me because I'm lonely and thoughts of feeding excite me and give me some relaxation as I get fatter and help.
Here this only as an explanation. I hope very much that I come out of this hole again and I feel better, I would like to write more exciting stories for you again, this is such a beautiful passion.


Saturday, 27 October 2018 01:02

Fattening Help for Feedees (Audiorecording)

Written by

A recording that will help you fatten up, boys and girls! Listen to this and feel how it is fattening you up!!!

As always available in the DRM free mp3 format.

Feeding help for feedees, this will help you gain!

Wednesday, 24 October 2018 10:41

My Diary as a Male Feedee: May 12, 2018

Written by

Another installment of my podcast about me being a feedee and gaining.

I forgot to post this one earlier on.


The podcast is available in mp3.

My feedee diary as a male feedee: May 12, 2018

Sunday, 17 June 2018 10:41

Waiting for expansion...

Written by

Like many nights, I lay awake and hungry, dreaming about how I would gain and balloon up, how I soon would not be anything that anybody could be call thin anymore, but very fat and getting a sagging belly. The belly that I have gotten has primed

Monday, 14 May 2018 03:32

My Diary as a Male Feedee: May 10, 2018

Written by

Another installment of my podcast about me being a feedee and gaining.

This one might not be for everybody, so make sure you listen the spoken disclaimer at the beginning.

The podcast is available in mp3.

My feedee diary as a male feedee: May 10, 2018

Tuesday, 13 February 2018 18:57

My Diary as a Male Feedee: January 23, 2018

Written by

Another installment of my podcast about me being a feedee and gaining.

My fattening is speeding up, I have more fat cells now that need filling, I can feel it.

The podcast is available in mp3.

My feedee diary as a male feedee: January 23, 2018

Friday, 24 November 2017 08:38

The Tumblr mystery is solved!

Written by

I did not know, but all people that followed the old Tumblr link did not see my blog, but only a request to login. It was always my idea to keep it public and do not require logging in, so here is the link that just works:
(and you can see everything without having to register or login)

http://rubensfeeder.tumblr.com/

Sunday, 01 October 2017 00:39

English Forum / Community online again

Written by

The English forum is online again, don't know why it was missing from the navigation menu. You will need to be registered to access it. Enjoy!

This is a direct link to it:

http://extremefeeding.com/en/forum-community-en

Sunday, 23 July 2017 05:32

My Diary as a Male Feedee:July 20, 2017

Written by

Another installment of my podcast about me being a feedee and gaining.

Fatter and fatter, I start to enter obesity and can't stop eating and fattening. The fat wants to make more fat grow.

The podcast is available in mp3.

My feedee diary as a male feedee: July 20, 2017

Wednesday, 17 May 2017 11:15

Site is online again and my status report

Written by

I'm sorry for the interruption and the site being offline, but I'm currently fighting with a very deep depression. I'm currently homeless, have no income and am trying to find a job desperately, so far without success, which is also hard because I can't constantly smile like it is expected, which seems to be a requirement for finding a job. I lost the house that I was renting last year and additionally to it also my job.  I'm currently in a crisis of being, where I'm asking myself, which function I do have in the feedism scene, if any, if I do have a mission, like I feel I do, or if I'm just deluding myself.

This is part also because I'm fighting with the superficiality of the online feedism scene, the coming and going of people, that pretty much everybody has no interest in deeper connections, which deeply frustrates me, because I'm looking for them, but currently have none. It is a little grotesque, even people that complain themselves, that others are superficial to them and cut off contact after a while, do the exactly same thing with me.

Last Christmas I suddenly got very sick and was in bed for 3 weeks, I checked my mailbox on any social network and found them empty, not a message, nothing, also on Feabie and I realized that I could have just died any well, nobody would have even noticed or...cared??? And that just made me angry and frustrated. I'm longing for these deeper connections that go forther than just feeding and to people that take feeding serious and stand by their preference for gaining and fat and don't constantly keep running away from it. I feel so very isolated in the world, being so advanced with my preference and love for fat and fattening and find nobody that I can share it with.

Page 1 of 11