I'm sorry for the interruption and the site being offline, but I'm currently fighting with a very deep depression. I'm currently homeless, have no income and am trying to find a job desperately, so far without success, which is also hard because I can't constantly smile like it is expected, which seems to be a requirement for finding a job. I lost the house that I was renting last year and additionally to it also my job.  I'm currently in a crisis of being, where I'm asking myself, which function I do have in the feedism scene, if any, if I do have a mission, like I feel I do, or if I'm just deluding myself.

This is part also because I'm fighting with the superficiality of the online feedism scene, the coming and going of people, that pretty much everybody has no interest in deeper connections, which deeply frustrates me, because I'm looking for them, but currently have none. It is a little grotesque, even people that complain themselves, that others are superficial to them and cut off contact after a while, do the exactly same thing with me.

Last Christmas I suddenly got very sick and was in bed for 3 weeks, I checked my mailbox on any social network and found them empty, not a message, nothing, also on Feabie and I realized that I could have just died any well, nobody would have even noticed or...cared??? And that just made me angry and frustrated. I'm longing for these deeper connections that go forther than just feeding and to people that take feeding serious and stand by their preference for gaining and fat and don't constantly keep running away from it. I feel so very isolated in the world, being so advanced with my preference and love for fat and fattening and find nobody that I can share it with.

An inspirational piece for all of you that want to gain and fatten, a little help from me getting you there!

The podcast is available in mp3.

Podcast: Give in to the fat!